I'm Not A Whore Because I Write About Sex
















By Marianne LaCroix


“God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” ~Robin Williams


Something came up today and it’s been bugging me. Because we, erotic fiction writers, write sex doesn’t mean we are a bunch of whores. Seriously. We don’t go around screwing everything with a cock to find the next sexual situation for our books. It doesn’t work that way. It’s called fiction, babe.

It comes down to what excites women. We like reading about sex. Give us a hero worthy to be fucked, and we’re on board. (I’m not talking romance here, I’m talking sex.) Reading about sex gets women going like looking at porn magazines/movies excite men. And for the writer of erotic fiction, we have to be into what we are writing. We live our fantasies through our characters. Are we living those fantasies for real? Not likely. We’re too busy WRITING those fantasies. Or dreaming them up as we go along.

So, guys, when you meet a woman who says she’s an erotica author (let’s say it’s me), do not translate it as, “I will screw you.” Just because you want to doesn’t mean it will happen–or that I want to–no matter how good looking you are. Don’t flatter yourself. And if I like you, it doesn’t translate to, “I will really screw you at first chance.” Uh, no. I’m not a slut. I’m not out looking for the next good lay. Just because I write sex doesn’t mean I don’t have standards, scruples or self respect.

And for the love of God, do not ask me if I’ve ever slept with another woman, had a menage, etc. In my case (still using me as an example) I haven’t been with that many men. Surprised? It’s true.

Also, no, I’m not sexually frustrated to be writing sex. There is nothing you can do that my Jack Rabbit can’t do better. And it doesn’t talk back or ask me to get it a beer from the fridge. Or come and walk off leaving me alone in bed wondering when my turn will happen. With Jack, it’s ALWAYS my turn.

Writing sex is fun and I write sex well. I like thinking about it, I like writing about it. Hell, I like talking about it. But don’t get any preconceived ideas. Erotica authors are just like everyone else, we just get paid to dream up and write something we find personally fun and entertaining.


Thanks so much for letting me repost another one of your blogs, Mari.  You are made of awesomeness!!

Here is another repost by Marianne LaCroix:   Note From A Horny Heroine

Visit Marianne LaCroix's WEBSITE

Comments

Morgan Malone said…
Perfect. I write erotica, some based on personal experience and some I just dreamed up! And I am not telling which.
A good friend and established romance and erotica author, once told me this: "People always ask me if I have done the things I write about. I wonder if they ask Stephen King how many people he has murdered? I write FICTION! It's not very likely that I have ever fucked a vampire, but still they ask!" I loved that and your post!
BrennaLyons said…
Hear! Hear! Sorry, but I've been with the same man for 24 years and married to him for 22. Yes, we still have sex (much more often than his friends or mine do) and heartily enjoy doing it.

There is nothing wrong with liking sex, liking reading about it, or liking writing about it. It doesn't mean I sleep around; I don't. It doesn't mean I would consider sleeping with anyone BUT my husband; I don't. Even when people ask me in interviews what actor I'd like to sleep with, I typically answer that I want to MEET certain actors/talk to certain ones, but the fact is that one-night stands are not my thing, and I have no intentions of having an affair or leaving my husband. All of those givens, the chances of anyone but Tamer weaseling his way into bed wiht me are about as close to nil as possible.

Brenna
Danica Avet said…
Wow, yeah...that seems to be a preconceived notion, doesn't it? I remember one of my male friends saying years ago (before I started writing) "So if you read so much romance, you must know a lot about sex." And it wasn't just him. I had a girlfriend in high school who asked me what sex was like. I had no clue, I was a virgin for crying out loud but because that's what I read...it was like I became a guru.

Now a days, I'm a little more relaxed about it all. I write it and I enjoy writing my sex scenes. I remember someone asking me why I used the word "Fuck" so much. I told them "It's my favorite word. I like saying it and I like doing it." That shut them up. ;)
Casey Sheridan said…
Excellent topic! Being single, I have learned to be careful when letting a man know I write erotica. I have had two very BAD experiences in the past which have taught me to watch reactions, etc when I first tell them I write "spicy romance". Maybe I'm just paranoid, but their reactions to that let me know how much more info to tell them. Most of the time I walk away.
It really is a preconceived notion if you are a woman and write erotica or erotic romance, you must have a tremendous amount of sex with loads of people. Like one of the previous comments made, how many people ask Stephen King about the number of people he's killed? It's ridiculous.
So far, I have met only one man who,not only loves what I write, he doesn't assume I'm a sex fiend.
There's nothing wrong with feeling frisky when writing your sex scenes. I know those are going to be my best scenes. If I'm liking it, so will the reader.
Anyway, just my two cents. Again, great topic!
Mari said…
Glad you all enjoyed my article. :) I wasn't kidding about the way men translate the whole "I write erotic romance." into"I will do you in a heartbeat." It has happened to me more than once.
Lise said…
I've just started telling people (other than close friends and fellow writers) that I write erotic romance and erotica. The raised eyebrows, you would NOT believe. The weird expressions, the look like there's something they want to say but just can't bring themselves to. Kind of fun in a way esp. when they try to reconcile me (not young, not Pamela Anderson) with what I write, if they have found it (and some have). But me being me? I will probably just give 'em a big old wink when they ask me if the spanking/BDSM/menage a quatre, call him "Master" stuff is from real life. I like to keep 'em guessing. Thanks for a great, run read and a good response to the horny bastards!
kalai said…
Oh! God, men are the same all over the world. I write romances and people think I flirt with every man. I now feel it is something rubbish to brush aside and continue with my writing. I am living in a society where men who chat online think every women who chat with them are willing to do whatever they like. So mean is their thinking.
She said…
Thanks for the fun column. I read erotic romance and erotica because I enjoy it. I'm always amazed at how dismissive people are of the genre. Very few are willing to try it or if they do they return the book saying they couldn't get into it. How can you not get into sex? Oh, well, it's their loss.
Savanna Kougar said…
Yeah, I'd never tell a man/guy that I write erotic romance because I don't want to deal with the consequences. Most of them are like two year olds when it comes to sex, and so infantile in their approach, who needs it? Not me!
Fran Lee said…
LOL! Glad I'm not the only one who gets asked those questions. I've now had my chuckle for the day. Thanks!
Harris Channing said…
Thank you! I needed a laugh. And you're right, just because we write about sex doesn't mean we're available. I've been married for 15 years and one man is just right! More then one...well, I certainly don't want to pick up after two!
Fiona said…
I write erotic romance, and though they thought it was kind of "squikie" reading the sex scenes, 2 of my 4 kids have read at least one of my books. My one sister-in-law told me she can't read any of my stuff, because she keeps thinking about her brother and me! LOL! I told her that's why it's called "fiction"...but alas, it's also her loss. And yes, to women, romance novels are like Maxim to guys...teasers. Erotica is like more hardcore porn, sometimes VERY hard-core! But some enjoy reading about stuff they would never want to experience! Like does JK Rowling get asked to do magic tricks?
www.fionamcgier.com

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